We have recently been head-down in delivery and, therefore, it is fitting that write about surrender and knowing when to use it to help us through overwhelm.
Surrendering in the context of overwhelm is not about giving up. It’s possible to surrender yet still strive to improve and make a difference. This form of surrender is useful when we meet a challenge, have a confrontation, or have one-too-many things on our to-do list. When we reach the point where we are just too overwhelmed and we’ve exhausted all the options in our overwhelm and resilience toolkit, what can we do then?
We can surrender.
It’s not about giving in or giving up. It’s about recognising that we can’t control every aspect of our lives. We can still strive to be productive and useful whilst we surrender to the reality of the situation. It’s letting go of the resistance around what’s happening.
For example, I’m not particularly extrovert but I have to speak in front of teams and gatherings frequently as part of my work. In the last few weeks I’ve had many public speaking engagements one after another. Just looking at the volume of events was sending me into a cold sweat. Plus, I needed to prepare the content for many of the events. I began to feel the creep of overwhelm and started thinking I may have bitten off more than I could chew.
Then I had another phone call asking me to deliver an event which would be great for business but was in the middle of all the other events I had committed to. Part of me wanted to say no, I was already overcommitted. I could also feel how disappointed with myself I’d be if I did say no! Arrgh! Stuck in a dilemma and needing to make a decision, I asked myself the question: “What if you gave up resisting all the work and just delivered it? Would you say yes if it were that easy?”
Of course!
I realised that it wasn’t the work itself that was emotionally draining, it was all my thoughts about it being ‘hard’ and ‘too much’. If I let those thoughts go, I would have the energy and enthusiasm to deliver everything I needed to. So, I made the decision there and then to surrender to the flow of life and just do it.
It did take consistent focus on letting go of my emotions as they came up. I was still feeling the emotion but by focusing on removing any internal resistance throughout each day I found I was able to let go of the energy about the feeling. Happily all the events went to plan and I didn’t come out the other side emotionally strung out and mentally exhausted, although a big sleep catch-up was required!
So, my challenge to you is – what do you have on your plate that you are resisting? Is there an item you are avoiding, either because it feels ‘hard’ or just dealing with the people involved is tough? If you released the resistance around it, is the actual work too difficult, or is it the feeling or emotions around it that are challenging? What if you released the resistance to it? Would it be easier?